Identity Fridays

I am sure you’ve heard about the debate that people, mostly women with multicoloured or bright coloured hair, multiple tattoes and peircings are a red flag. What are your thoughts about it?

My view:

The question worth asking is; Why do some people feel the need to radically change their appearance just to feel seen?

When I see bright, unnatural hair colors, I don’t immediately see confidence.

I wonder whether it’s an attempt to answer a deeper question: “Who am I?”
In psychology, this can sometimes be discussed in the context of identity confusion or identity diffusion; when a person is still searching for a stable sense of self.

Of course, not everyone with colorful hair is struggling with identity. Some simply enjoy creative self expression. But for most, appearance can become a substitute for identity.

The same question applies to men. Sagging pants, extreme hairstyles, multiple tattoos and numerous piercings.

These are consdered as just fashion choices, But most times they are signals of pain and internal void.

A young man or woman who never had a strong father, or who grew up with a father who was physically present but weak, often goes searching for identity somewhere else. If no one tells him who he is, the world gladly will.

When a father is absent, gangs, celebrities, politicians, pasties, social media and trends become fathers.

The body becomes the canvas on which inner confusion is painted.

The real issue is rarely the hair, the tattoos, the piercings, or the clothing. The real issue is identity.

A person who knows who they are rarely needs to shout it through appearance. Their character speaks louder than their image.

Strong fathers build identities.

And when identity is restored, the need to constantly reinvent yourself often begins to fade.

The greatest transformation is in overcoming anger and false identities by overcoming the nature of your weak and angry parents.