Most women/ladies say they want to be wives

But if you really sit back and watch how people really move today, you will notice something wild!

A lot of them don’t actually want to be wives. What they want is the experience of marriage. (Read that paragraph again).

There is a difference between chasing a husband and preparing to be a wife.

Most conscious men can see that difference almost instantly when they start talking to somebody new.

If you ask a bunch of women what they want out of a relationship, most of them will say;

“I would love a serious relationship that leads to marriage”. It sounds simple, right?

But ask a couple of follow up questions and watch what happens next. They light up describing the wedding, the exact ring, the venue with the fairy lights, the dress that makes everybody cry, the engagement shoot, the honeymoon in some tropical spot.
It’s valid and it’s basically a pinterest board that comes to life.

And then you ask;

“What kind of partnership are you intending to build?”

And suddenly, crickets….. Or they just change the subject because they don’t even know.

Most women,(not all, but most.) spend all of their energy on one day; the wedding, and way less on the next 40 to 50 years if God gives them the grace to stick to the Man.

The wedding is a party for other people. Marriage is a whole life for the two of you.

I’ve had real conversations where women tell me the flowers and the color theme that they want, but when it comes to what does supporting your man through hard times actually looks like, they haven’t really thought about that yet.

That is scary!

There’s nothing wrong with wanting romance, dreaming of a beautiful wedding and a beautiful celebration. But when the symbol starts mattering more than the actual substance, that’s when things get a little bit messy.

That’s where you have to wake up a little bit. Because marriage used to signal; stability, building a household, and legitimacy.

But modern culture has flipped the script. Marriage became less about building something together and more about signaling just success. A disney fantasy.

Social media supercharged it.

• The engagement announcement.
• The ring shots.
• Professional photos.
• Countdowns.
• Honeymoon flexes.
• Thousands of likes and comments flooding in. Nowonder you can’t wait to post photos. Possibly to get some of your exes jealous.

Public validation hits you like a drug.

Just that you know; Couples who drop big money on weddings actually have higher divorce rates later on compared to those who kept it way simpler.

There’s a deeper biological layer to it too, and this is where evolutionary psychology gets fascinating.

For most of human history, women faced huge risks with pregnancy and raising children. Childbirth was dangerous. Raising children took massive time and resources, so women evolved into being highly selective.

They looked for men who showed competence, protection, stability, leadership, traits that basically screamed, ” This guy increases our chances of survival”.

That selectivity is still there today. Women are generally pickier in mate choice because biology made the stakes higher for them.

Modern life changed how those instincts play out though. Instead of deeply evaluating character and long term leadership, a lot of people now chase lifestyle signals.

• What does he make?
• What car?
• What vacations can he fund?
• What status does he bring?

Lifestyle is not the same as character.

Money does not guarantee discipline.

Status doesn’t equal real leadership.

When selection shifts mostly to external upgrades, people can end up with somebody who looks great on paper or Instagram but lacks the internal stuff that’s actually needed when life starts to get tough.

A woman who’s mainly husband hunting often asks;

“What can this man give me?”

Or

“How does he upgrade my life?”

Or

“What security or lifestyle does he bring me?”. It’s focused on just receiving.

But a woman who’s actually preparing to be a wife asks something totally different.